Well I could quite easily have slept all day today. I am shattered. And I know I’m shattered, aside from feeling it, because things that wouldn’t normally bother me have been doing and, my goodness, have I been cranky. Sure there are a number of things that have been getting on top of me lately (I think I reeled them all off last night to L – I don’t think she got two words in) but they’re all things I knew about already and really should know how to deal with; things like getting frustrated and being impatient for decisions on stories (I do appreciate guidelines say 3 months but I want to know NOW!), getting even more frustrated with not getting any decisions on stories at all. You know?

But as I was walking back from the post office earlier, I thought to myself: Nik, You chose to do this and you know what it’s about – you know what to expect – you know it’s hard. And I do – I’ve been doing it long enough. So it’s time to toughen up and to go with the flow a bit more, and to stop worrying about things that I can’t do anything about. And it’s time to stick to what I’m good at: writing stories and running workshops. And any help I get along the way will be a bonus.
And the thing is – I do have help. I have some wonderful friends, on and off-line whose support and loveliness is something rather special.
So from now on, this writer’s going to try to wear a smile. And think happier.

0 Comments on “Zzzzzz

  1.  by  Douglas Bruton

    It is always hard, Nik… I enjoy the high of a hit for about three hours… I suffer the pain of a miss for 2-3 days… sort begs the question why we do it… And you know what my answer is… cos the hitting and missing is only a small part… it is the doing and this is such a buzz… when something on the page that you have written makes you sit up with surprise and think ‘wow, I wrote that!’ Appreciate the journey… the destination will take care of itself… I know, sounds like a British Airways ad tagline… but believe it.Love what you do.D

  2.  by  Nik's Blog

    I agree with you entirely. Funny thing is, it’s rare that the writing’s a problem, it’s everything else…!N

  3.  by  Sara

    Hey Nik, just wanted to say that being grumpy for a bit is ok, but getting back to what you choose to do sounds like a fine idea. There is a lot of crap that comes with the subbing process. Personally I think I’m wired to write, it’s how I think, but I’m not so great at the surrounding gumph. We tolerate the rubbish because it’s a part of the whole. Onwards!: )

  4.  by  Nik's Blog

    Sara – this is why I blog! So I get to hear (read?) lovely people like you cheering me up with sensible comments and seeing that I’m not alone. Thank you! You’ve really made a difference.Nik XPS There are other reasons as well of course, and other reasons why people like you are lovely – but the ones listed above are the most pertinent at this time.

  5.  by  Tania Hershman

    I totally agree with everything said – like Douglas I enjoy the high for a shorter and shorter time but the miss always stings for ages and ages. And, as Sara says, don’t feel you always have to put on a cheerful front, we all of us understand this, we all go through it, this is the place to moan and vent about it with no thought that any of us will think less of you for it. We are all nodding our heads, we know this, we get this. I know you’d say the same to me!

  6.  by  Jacqueline Christodoulou

    It sure is a rollercoaster ride, Nik. The way I look at it is that is we didn’t have the bitter times we wouldn’t be able to fully relish the sweetness πŸ™‚

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