Hatch Fiction Programme – Deadline Coming

It’s been an absolutely crazy busy start to the academic year and I’ve been all over the country, mostly teaching. I was down at Cambridge University for First Story’s Young Writers’ Festival, and then I was at the BBC National Short Story and Young Writer of the Year Awards (it was broadcast on Radio 3’s Front Row, and I was actually sat on the front row, so lots of meta things to amuse me), and there’s been lots of writing of my own which I’m pretty excited about and lots more teaching and even more trains (1800 miles after three weeks, and then I lost count) not enough shaving, and, suddenly, it’s autumn – my favourite time of the year – the trees’ leaves are golden and the air’s chill and the ghosts are getting ready to come out and… and I’m out of breath just typing this.

But there is more news! And an opportunity for Yorkshire prose writers (up to 30) to work closely with me on a brand new fiction programme. I should have mentioned this much, much earlier (sorry!) and most of the places have already been snapped up, but there are a couple left. I’ll paste the detail’s from Hive South Yorkshire’s website below – any questions, give me a shout. Deadline’s OCTOBER 31st.

Hive Fiction programme for writers (18-30) – take your writing to the next level 

Writing can be a lonely and a tricky business to navigate, even for those who’ve been doing it for some time. It’s difficult to know where to get feedback, or if what you’re writing makes the grade. And then there’s what to do with a story or novel once you’ve finished.

If you’re an aspiring short story writer, or novelist, keen to take your craft to the next level, Hive is running the Hive Fiction programme offering an immersive set of workshops over several months providing the help and guidance to get to where you want to be. Join prize-winning author, editor, and short story writer, Nik Perring, for all things fiction, and:

  • identify and work towards your writing goals
  • generate great ideas and turn them into brilliant stories
  • focus on the mechanics of fiction writing such as creating compelling and believable characters, convincing dialogue and description, and strong plots
  • learn how to edit your work to make it publication-ready. Even down to identifying the small changes that can turn something good into something brilliant
  • receive one-to-one feedback on work and tips and insights into publishing routes and opportunities

Who’s the Hive Fiction programme for?
The programme is for fiction writers, aged 18 to 30 in South Yorkshire, at any stage of their writing journey who would like to get more serious. You might lack direction, sticking power, or confidence. You might have a project you want to get stuck into, or want to sharpen your skills, or focus on honing your work.

All levels, genres and interests welcome | Meet like-minded people | Refreshments | Where: central Sheffield near trains/buses
Intro session TBC – Regular fortnightly sessions – day and time subject to majority interest in the first meeting (likely a weekday evening or Saturday afternoon)

Cost: The programme is subsidised by Hive South Yorkshire meaning a cost of just £55 for 12 sessions, and one to one tutorials and support at key stages. If cost is a barrier, please let us know in your application. Places are limited.

To Apply: Send up to 4 A4 pages of work (Times/font size 12), and up to 600 words saying what your interests are, where you are with your writing, and how you’d like the programme to help you to [email protected] (also include your age, date of birth, town you live in and postcode)– by midnight 31st Oct (deadline extended)

And here are some photos of my face in different places. (Actually, you’ll have to make do with just the two because technology is not being kind to me.)

Paula Rawsthorne, Sonya Hundal, and a bridge

The Truth About Archie Pye

Jonathon Pinnock’s latest, The Truth About Archie Pye, was published last week (huge congrats!) so I thought it’d be a fine thing if he were to come over here to celebrate. And he has, with his top tips for writing a comic novel…

Ten Top Tips for Writing a Comic Novel

Use Dialogue

Don’t drown in swathes of description. Humour needs to move fast, and dialogue is a splendidly economical way to show character. Think about the different ways in which different people can describe the same thing and what that says about them. Also, it can be a great way to show a relationship in action. Listen to how people discuss and argue – how they talk over each other and ignore the other person altogether.

Listen to the Rhythm

All writing needs to have a sense of rhythm, but for comedy it is everything. It’s the only way you can control the timing of the joke. 

Be Specific

Don’t be lazy. Fix your point of reference exactly and the reader will be drawn in. Instead of saying “she sat alone in her bedsit, picking at her meal for one”, say something like “she sat alone in her bedsit, picking at her Findus individual ocean fish pie.” Victoria Wood was the master of this – study her.

Logistics

Most of plotting in the end comes down to logistics: ensuring that person X arrives at Y at the right time with Z. Comedy arises when any or all of these go wrong. Play with all these possibilities. Give your protagonist a terrible time. Set him/her off on a quest and then strew rocks in his/her way. Read PG Wodehouse’s “The Code of the Woosters” to see how a master handles logistics in comedy.

Keep Moving

Don’t linger on anything – especially a favourite gag. Once it’s done, move on to the next one. Pretend you’re writing for the Fast Show. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, it won’t matter because there’ll be another one along in a minute. Running gags are great, but make sure they build and don’t just repeat.

Avoid Clichés Like a Plague of Feral Badgers

If you’re tempted to use a cliché at any point, you have basically two choices. Either (1) take it out altogether or (2) subvert or develop it. Think of Blackadder’s plan that was “as cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford University.”

Be Fair to Your Characters

Don’t create characters just to be the butt of jokes. Remember they have feelings too. Are they entirely passive? Do they have agency? Are you being fair to them? Are you punching down or up? They can still be really terrible people and have terrible things happen to them, but they must absolutely deserve it.

Avoid Info Dumps

This is a rule of writing in general (although I maintain that a well-executed exposition can cut an awful lot of flab – consider the first five minutes or so of the film “Serenity” for example), but it does apply especially to comedy. If you have a load of information to get across to the reader, make sure it’s done in an amusing way. Have something else going on in the background. Use something like the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – the only expositional device in literary history to have given its name to an entire book.

Don’t Overdo It

Don’t rely excessively on relentless devices like puns and in-jokes that will eventually wear the reader out. But if you can’t help yourself, make sure you REALLY overdo them. There’s no middle ground.

Ignore All the Above

Humour is MASSIVELY subjective. If you’re confident that what you find funny doesn’t fit the above template, go for it. If you find it funny, chances are someone else will.

Jonathan Pinnock’s THE TRUTH ABOUT ARCHIE AND PYE was published by Farrago Books last week. A surprising number of people seem to be enjoying it.

Foyle Young Poet Of The Year

I’m absolutely thrilled to be able to say, finally, that Georgie Woodhead, of Hive’s Sheffield Young Writers’ Group has won the Foyle Young Poet of the Year! I’m not at all surprised, having seen her work up-close for a couple of years now. I honestly couldn’t be happier. You can read more about it here on Hive’s website but, in the meantime, here’s the wonderful poem.

When my uncle stood at the top of the office block roof

Georgie Woodhead

he swayed from side to side, half-glugged bottle locked
in his burning fingers, his silhouette framed by the black hole of night,
flecks of scornful planets blinked behind his back. The whole world
stretched out in front of him like the sides of a fallen-down box,
and his eyes had been opened, and stared open as his shoulders
shook. His feet stumbled back and forth towards the edge,
the leather of his shoes creaking in protest against the gutter.

When the bar had closed and we were tossed out, left to stroll
with our hands shoved in our pockets like tree stumps rooted in earth,
we heard his bottle, a free-fall smash into green teeth on paving slabs.
He leaned over his small carnage in the same silence as we did,
our mouths open, eyelids pinned apart, necks turned like twisted cloth.
And him, with his frown slashed thin, disappointed, eyebrows folded
as if he had honestly expected anything different.

And that’s not all. Nope – fellow member, Maya Williams-Hamm was highly commended as well. Needless to say everyone is thrilled by these, thoroughly deserved, accolades. And a huge congratulations to everyone else listed too!

If anyone, 14-19, would like to get involved in Hive’s South Yorkshire-wide network (there are groups in Doncaster, Barnsley, Rotherham, and Sheffield) they can find more info here.