Liesl Jobson Does Proust

I first ‘met’ Liesl Jobson a few years ago on a writing forum. That was back when I wasn’t very good (she was). It was back when I’d do embarrassing things like Not Understanding Things Properly (I remember, very clearly, NOT getting a metaphor – good one; (it was not an ACTUAL fish, Nik, it was a penis).

But things change. I got better, for one.

And Leisl has a new book out. It’s called Ride The Tortoise and it’s a short story collection (there’s an eBook edition too). And to celebrate I invited her over here. We decided to do something a little different. We decided she’d take The Proust Questionnaire. I love it.

Liesl Jobson Answers the Proust Questionnaire

 

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Being able to create without anxiety. That, however, is a state that comes and goes, more the latter than the former. That said, not writing causes more anxiety than writing, even if the subject of my endeavour gives cause for misgivings.

What is your greatest fear?

 

Being discovered as a fraud.

 

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Anaïs Nin

Which living person do you most admire?

Some days my mother. Some days my father. They are such fine people, kind, smart, whole-hearted, and unafraid to show the world their true colours.

 

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

The seemingly relentless tendency towards self-sabotage. So often I find myself very close to completing a task over which I have laboured for hours or years – like this questionnaire – and I dither and dawdle till I drive myself (and those who love me) quite mad.

 

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Bullying – from the lowliest playground thug to the presidents of nations who disregard the humanity of those who are littler in strength and stature, financial capacity, social standing or personal resilience.

 

What is your greatest extravagance?

Designer heels. I can’t help it. They are terrible for your feet, damaging to your spine, ruinous of the wallet. They are so politically incorrect but they feel so damn good to wear and they are never pedestrian.

 

What is your favorite Journey?

The ride to Zeekoevlei where my scull rests on a rack in the Alfreds Rowing Club boathouse.

 

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Charity. It is too often an unconscious attempt to placate one’s own conscience.

On what occasion do you lie?

When it is prudent to do so.

 

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My bitten fingernails – see self-sabotage above…

 

Which living person do you most despise?

A southern African head of state who has committed a long list of atrocities perpetrated against his own people.

 

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

‘To be sure, to be sure…’ which I can’t resist analysing as an attempt at garnering a secure foothold in a shifting landscape. Surely? My beloved says I use “certainly”… more of the same affliction, probably.

 

What is your greatest regret?

Je ne regrette rien.

 

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Books and boats. Stories and sea. The embodied imagination.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love to hold big narratives in my head and write novels. They are in my heart, but while that is a good place from which one must write, the head is where the big narrative is constructed. And mine is far too disorgnised for that.

What is your current state of mind?

Growing in confidence.

 

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

I would have them all much taller and sturdier of limb so that I might have inherited the genes that would have made me an ace rower, rather than an average one.

 

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Winning the women’s race of the Melck Run last year. I was so anxious before this 22km race down the Berg River in the middle of winter that I would fall out and freeze to death that I sat in the car beforehand weeping in terror. My main ambition was to stay in the boat and finish the race. To my great astonishment I, who had until recently been a card carrying member of the Couch Potato Association, was the first woman home.

 

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think itLiesl Jobson at Book Lounge copy would be?

In my theology, which I concede is a watery thing, I will come back to learn that which my soul most needs to become enlightened. My deepest held belief is that in my last life I died by my own hand. I view it as the task of this lifetime to learn to negotiate the hideousness that life inevitably delivers without resorting to suicide.

 

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

This question is as incomprehensible to me as asking an infant what language he or she would like to speak when the time comes to acquire speech.

 

What is your most treasured possession?

My late mother-in-law’s diamond ring. She was an actress in her youth and exceedingly beautiful and she deeply loved me. It features in a story I wrote where the narrator, faced by a gunman, swallows the ring. I have told my family that if I die a violent death and the ring is missing they should insist on autopsy to find it.

 

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

There have been moments when reality buckles and I have had no language to articulate the horror to which I have been party. There are no words to describe the things I wish I had never seen.

 

Where would you like to live?

The Albert Falls Game Reserve where I could breakfast with zebras and then row on the Albert Falls Dam while eagles swoop across the sky.

 

What is your favorite occupation?

Rowing. Or reading? Hard to choose… Or eating, or sex, or sleeping??? Are these occupations?

 

What is your most marked characteristic?

A spirituality that encompasses sexuality, creativity, compassion and devotion to personal integration. But how narcissistic is that? My long hair that has earned me the name Rapunzel is probably the most visible thing.

 

What is the quality you most like in a man?

The willingness to take responsibility for his own consciousness whilst not trying to fix or sort out mine.

 

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

The courage to be vulnerable and to put down shame.

 

What do you most value in your friends?

They accept my eccentric silences without taking umbrage and have the remarkable grace to remind me what is truly important in life when I lose my way.

 

Who are your favorite writers?
Etgar Keret, Miranda July, Diane Awerbuck, Alice Munro, Lydia Davis, Jeanette Winterson and Ivan Vladislavic.

 

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Eh… every author named in the previous answer has at least five narrators who gripped my mind while I read their words. No way to select a single hero(ine).

 

Who are your heroes in real life?
The people I love who have suffered greatly and who forgave me for having a hand in their troubles; in particular those who didn’t quit when they really wanted to and could have done.

 

What are your favorite names?

Jemima and Pearl, for the daughters I never had. My father still calls me “Big girl”…

 

What is it that you most dislike?

The modern shopping mall is a version of Hades I can live without. The only reason to frequent such a place is to say goodbye to your money whilst acquiring stuff you don’t need and eating food that probably never grew in the untrammeled light of day.

 

How would you like to die?

After I’ve turned 100 I wouldn’t mind saying farewell from a single scull. However, it would be inconvenient for those left behind to sort out the matter of my corpse somewhere in a lake. The headline would make a splash, I guess. A psychic once told me that I will die in public so I’m trying to get used to the notion that I won’t die alone with the attendant quietude that a private demise grants one.

 

What is your motto?
There are acres of diamonds in your own back yard.

Special Offer

There are a couple of spaces free on my online short/flash fiction course, as a couple of people have completed it. (And, talking of the course, it’s been a lovely thing to see a couple of those who’ve taken it reaching long and short lists recently – huge congratulations to them.)

If you’re interested in signing up (you can see all the details here) I’m going to reduce the price to £99 until the end of the May bank holiday weekend.

If you’ve any questions you can contact me via the form here.

The Drowning of Arthur Braxton

There’s clearly going to be a little bias when I talk about The Drowning of Arthur Braxton. It’s written by Caroline Smailes, whom I co-wrote Freaks! with, and it’s published by the magnificent Friday Project. But let’s not talk about bias or let than get in the way of what is truly a remarkable and brilliant novel. I love Caroline’s work (as you probably already know) and I think this is her best yet.

It’s a story of love and its power and it’s the story of loss too. It’s a fairy tale. It’s heartbreaking, and touching, it’s funny and it’s brilliant. It’s sweary too – very sweary. It’s also a book that features an awful lot of erections.* I read it in one sitting (pretty much) and I fell in love with it. I know the word ‘masterpiece’ is used a little too often but I genuinely think that that’s the only way to describe it. It’s wonderful. You should read it.

I was going to say something along the lines of ‘It’ll be a hard one to put down’ but thought better of it. Clearly.

That’s Nice

Apologies for the blogging silence of late. I’ve been very busy and, to tell you the truth, I’ve not really had all that much to say. Seeing this review on Amazon of Not So Perfect, however, made me happy:

 

“I love this book and have read it over and over and I never read a book moreNSPcovercroppedthan once. I love the book’s squareness, its feel in my hands, its spare, cartoon squiggles, and of course, its stories. Much as I like short stories, a lot them are quite bleak these days, whereas these stories are simple and tender and although they can be quite surreal, somehow they are completely believable. Great stuff. I can’t wait for the next collection.”

 

*

 

And while I’m talking of book reviews, if anyone would like to befriend me over on Goodreads, then here I am.

Born Weird

I was a little later in getting to Andrew Kaufman’s wonderful Born Weird than was planned (things happened, as they do, and life gets in the way of things, as it does – which means that I didn’t read anything in a couple of months). I rectified that last week, gobbled up, wide-eyed and grinning – Mr Kaufman’s latest. In short I loved it.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge Andrew Kaufman fan (and that’s not only because he said such nice things about Freaks!). I loved The Tiny Wife and All My Friends Are Superheroes. They’re playful, they’re mad, they’re bizarre and they’re brilliant. Touching too. This may just be his best yet.

It’s a story about a family. It’s a story about blursings (blessings + curses) and it’s a story about having unusual abilities and how you cope with them. How would you feel going through life instantly forgiving anyone and anything? How would you cope with constantly keeping yourself safe? Would it really be such a great thing if you were constantly living in hope?

This is the kind of story you really shouldn’t help but love. Do have a look. You’ll thank me for it. I promise. It’s wonderful.

Born Weird is out in a beautiful hardback (and it really is beautiful). It’s published by the magnificent Friday Project and it’s out now. Go see.