Why I Shouldn’t Put Things Off (Like Bees To Honey)

I don’t know why I do this. Well, I do, and I know I’m wrong, which makes things that little bit worse. (I don’t like being wrong.)

When I get a book I know I’ll like, I put off reading it. I tell myself: ‘Nik, you want to read this when you’ve chance to enjoy it. When there are no distractions.’

There are always distractions. And when I finally decide that enough’s enough, and that I should just get on with reading the book I always love it and wish I’d have just got on with it earlier.

I did it with Caroline Smailes’ ‘In Search of Adam(I talk about it here) and, more recently, her latest, the wonderful ‘Like Bees To Honey’.

So. ‘Like Bees To Honey’ is the story of Nina. A young woman ostracised from her family in Malta because she fell pregnant by a non-Maltese man. The story charts her return to her home island to see her parents again, one last time. But the Malta she finds is somewhat different to the place where she grew up.

Mainly because there are ghosts there.

And Jesus (who’s actually more like Johnny Depp than one might have imagined).

I can honestly say that this is one of the most affecting books I’ve read. It’s beautifully written, deeply moving and very funny in places. It’s the perfect story of understanding, of family, of home, of grief and of healing. And it will probably break your heart.

I’ve said many times on here that I’m rubbish at reviewing books so all I’ll say is that Like Bees To Honey is a wonderful, wonderful book which I wouldn’t hesitate to both recommend and give it a great big five star rating.

You know what to do. Just, you know, do it quicker than me.

Bank Holiday Niceness

Another short post today I’m afraid (I have been writing).

Number one – I thought this post on The Internet and Writers was brilliant. Have a look. Enjoy. It’s good.

Number two – as it’s Bank Holiday and as I’m still in a reasonably good mood I’ve decided to do another special offer over at The Story Corrective. So – for this week (I’ll stop it at close of business on Friday) I’m offering the full super-duper service (a full edit and a report on any short story) for £25 instead of the usual £40. Just quote Bank Holiday Lemur when you submit.

I enjoyed listening to Scott Pack talking about The Fire Station Book Swap (you can listen here).

And loved seeing Caroline Smailes being interviewed here.

And that, I think, is it. For now.

Why I’m in a Good Mood

Over the past few years I seem to have become quite the pessimist. I don’t know why, but I have. It might have something to do with writing (expecting rejection), it might be because I’ve felt let down by some people, or it might just be a natural part of me growing older. Whatever the reason, I don’t like it. I used to be quite the opposite.

And I might be changing back. Let me tell you about a couple of things that happened last night that made me remember that people are good.

I met an old friend for a beer. We don’t see too much of each other really (I think this was the second time this year) because I’m busy and he’s busy. But we went out, drank beer, talked and it was good. And I think that, as I’ve been feeling quite nostalgic of late, talking about old times was good too (it’s nine years this weekend since he and his girlfriend first met – I remember it well – congratulations).

So, his taxi came and he left and I stayed, and I’d have been perfectly happy to stay and finish my drink on my own. But three ladies on the next table saw that I was alone and insisted I joined them. That, I thought, was a lovely gesture.

I walked home the Long Way, chips and gravy in hand, and re-traced the route of my old Sunday morning paper round. And I enjoyed it, it was a time to reflect and to feel content.

At the top of my road there’s a bench. I like that bench. You can see Manchester’s lights from it. And, last night, when I reached it I sat on it. My earphones were in, my phone by my side and I just sat and enjoyed the view and the peace. It was good.

I was approached by two men who looked agitated and for a moment I was a little worried. But really it was them who were worried because they thought I’d fallen asleep and had left my phone on show.

Those two things are not the sort of things that happen to me. But I’m glad they did. I’m glad there are good people in the world and I’m glad that I was reminded of that.

It was also nice to see so many people on Twitter who, when I mention I’m cross/annoyed by something get in touch to say cheer up. And just a word on that – I’ll often Tweet whatever’s in my head without really thinking about it, so please, don’t read too much into it! I really am ok! Promise!

And here’s what I was listening to on the bench. An old one. But still quite good.

Random, random, random

Well, I’ve just spent half an hour writing what turned out to be a really rubbish and barely coherant blog post. I’ve deleted it. So this is what you’re getting. My thoughts on things.


Deadliest Catch is one of the very, very few things I watch on the telly. It’s a fly on the wall show about crab fishermen on the Bering Sea (if you’ve not already seen it). I found out earlier that one of the ship’s captains, Phil Harris, died in February and that made me sad. He was a good and interesting and honest man, from what I could see. Must admit it’s a bit odd feeling sad about someone I didn’t know, but it affected me. I think I’ll always have an enormous amount of respect for good, honest people, team players and people who work hard (their jobs make mine look like a permanent holiday).

Here’s some footage from a couple of years ago. Nothing to do with Captain Phil but affecting, I’d say.




***

What else has been on my mind? Errrrm, writing! I’ve been writing again and thoroughly enjoying it and it’s looking like what I’ve been working on is coming together okay. Which is good.

***

What else? Libraries. Libraries, have been on my mind. For only the third time (I think) since 2006 I didn’t take my writing group last week. People were away so it got cancelled.

So here’s a clip featuring a library. I like it.

***

Anything else? Actually yes. Isn’t it funny how something pops into your mind and you end up going: ‘Golly! I’ve not thought about that/them/him/her in years.’

Angel Delight is one of those things.
The girl who used to work at the Avis desk which was in the same building as where I worked when I worked for VW.
More would include:
The lad who used to work at the Avis desk. I remember he liked Dungeons and Dragons.
The girl more though (though he was a very nice chap).
An old ex-girlfriend’s friend.
Tizer.
Lilt.
Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit chewing gum (never liked it, but that didn’t stop me thinking about it).
The man who owned the newsagent’s near my school.
His wife.
The blind, black rabbit I saw when I was out walking once.
Bicycles that had plastic discs over the wheels which hid the spokes (and in the 80s made a boy feel really cool).
Falling off a bicycle that had plastic discs over its wheels.
Falling off another bike, which had handlebars which pointed outwards, and hurting my shoulder.
Norweb.
That meal I had in Pizza Express, in the winter, with someone I don’t speak to any more. That was a lovely evening and a brilliant end to one of my fondest days.
A Christmas eve and a friend unintentionally setting off a fire extinguisher by putting his folded coat on it
His girlfriend’s reaction.
Making compilations of my favourite songs on cassettes.
The car I learned to drive in.

So there you go. A few random thoughts I’ve had that weren’t expected. That was a bit different, wasn’t it?

The Sound of Strawberries

A few months ago I made a video of my ‘When You’re Frightened, Honey, Think Of Strawberries’ story, which appears in Not So Perfect (and originally appeared in Ink, Sweat and Tears).

Not being a film maker, and not knowing the first thing about making films, it didn’t turn out to be quite as wonderful as I’d hoped.

It’s been up on my Facebook page for a while now and I thought it might be interesting, and perhaps even fun, to share it here. So here it is.

On Judge and on judging

First up, I’m thrilled to tell you that I’ll be the fiction judge for Slingink’s Scribbling Slam, starting September 20th. I’m looking forward to it very much.

I’ve also been interviewed by @Sleepycatt on her blog here – where she even gets me to do a bit of free writing.

***

Number two. I noticed yesterday that the good chap (and Literary World Cup Organiser) Benjamin Judge has, with a couple of other writers, set up a new literary e-zine. It is Roy Keane’s Lucky Scarf.

I popped over to it, liked what I saw and asked Benjamin if he fancied popping over here to talk about it. And, top bloke that he is, he said yes and was rather speedy in sending over something. So, I leave you in Benjamin’s capable hands…

Benjamin Says…
Nik, being a very nice man indeed, is allowing us to hijack his blog for one post so we can tell you about our new literary e-zine Roy Keane’s Lucky Scarf. Perhaps you might like to pop over and have a browse at our work. Nik likes it, and you like Nik, so you might like us too.
OK. Why did I set it up and what is it?
We wanted to set up a literary site but one that was a bit different. There are hundreds of sites that publish peoples stuff but the best ones are often the ones with a theme, that make the writer stick to a form or a word limit. We decided that we would make ourselves, and anyone who wants to contribute to the site, stick to a really strict set of topics: Roy Keane, luck, scarves, or a combination of the three. There is a method in this madness though. The restrictions force the writer to use their imagination, to ask themselves how they can come up with a new way of telling a story or approaching a poem. It is always good practice for writers to try to do something different and often it can be a lot of fun too.
So what is it? A slightly different approach to the literary e-zine. A site that is hopefully presents a challenge to writers and is also a place where readers can come along to find a few surprises and have a  laugh or two.
And why did we set it up? Well, the simple answer is because we thought people might like it.’

Jemma Says…
As well as work by the four of us we want to put up poems, short stories and flash fiction by you lot too. There is a Submissions page on the site telling you what we are after but to put it in a nutshell we are looking for things about Roy Keane, luck and/or scarves.
Cristophe Says…
Roy Keane’s Lucky Scarf is a metaphor. A metaphor for life. Roy Keane is a fiction. He is what you make of him. What you make him. Do not let yourself be restricted by the rules of the site. No. Be liberated by them. Roy Keane is whatever you write him to be.
Nathalie Says…
I really hope you like our site, and that you will all think about contributing a little something too. As Cristophe says, don’t let the subject matter hamper you. Let your imagination run free.
As a special treat, and to give you an idea of what sort of thing you might do, here is an exclusive Roy Keane story that won’t be appearing anywhere else. 
The Wedding List
By Benjamin
You sign a few bits and bobs and then they give you a zapper. They work like this: you zap the bar-codes of the things you want on your wedding list and when you finish zapping you take them back to the Wedding List Co-ordinator and she plugs them into a computer and ‘ping’ your wedding list is on the internet for all your guests to browse through.
We walked through the bedroom and bathroom departments zapping bed sheets and towels, pillow cases and toothbrush holders for our new house. It was fun. It was like a big shopping spree but with someone else picking up the bill. At first we felt a bit guilty zapping anything that cost more than fifteen pounds but you soon get into the swing of it. Zap zap zap. It isn’t like anyone is under any compulsion to buy anything, and as the Wedding List Co-ordinator said; it is better to have too many things on the list than too few.
It was when we reached the kitchen department that I noticed Roy Keane was following us. I had started eyeing up a ridiculously large barbeque. Jo said not to be silly. That it was too big for our house and too expensive for the list. She said she would meet me by the toasters when I had finished drooling. She wandered off smiling to herself thinking, I hope, about what a loveable idiot she was marrying.
When she was out of sight Roy Keane approached me. He told me to zap it, said it was a proper man’s barbeque, asked me if I was a proper man, said a proper man would own a proper barbeque.  I told him to leave me alone, that I could make up my own decisions without bowing to peer pressure. I asked Roy Keane what business of his it was whether I owned a massive barbeque or not. Still, I zapped the barbeque before I walked over to Jo to help pick out a new toaster, and I zapped a set of giant skewers too.

Another free book – and this time it’s signed

If you pop over to the brilliant Bah!ToCancer blog, before Friday, and pop something like ‘pick me’ in the comments, then you’ll be in with a chance of winning a signed copy of Not So Perfect, which I’d say (of course!) is a very good thing.

And on the subject of Not So Perfect – I’ve updated my website, so, if you should want to, you can see a comprehensive (I think) list of all the reviews it’s had and all the interviews I’ve given about by clicking here.

And that, I think, is all for now.

Stripped Down

Big thanks to the lovely Kate for the mention of Not So Perfect on the splendid Manchester arts blog, The Manchizzle, where she says ‘And, as expected, I really enjoyed the book, full of offbeat characters and stripped-down, almost anecdotal narratives that are like short stories boiled down to their most concentrated essence. ‘. That was a nice thing to see today (also thanks to Si for texting to let me know it was there).

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And as I’m in a reasonable mood (nice mention + nice weekend + nice weather – ie SUN and not 5 hour long thunder storms which blocked drains – it was cool till that happened!) I’m extending the £25 special offer of an edit and report of a short story from The Story Corrective for another week. Get your story in by Friday (quoting ‘lemur’ when you send it) is all you need to do.

I hope you’re enjoying the sun,